Well this week (as well as the last one) has been a quite hectic. But the diffrence has been though I was damn occupied and got damn tired out of these day's work, I kinda enjoyed it. for one reason that it was my work that on display to the leadership ( although I know they couldnt care less bout what I do and did, but whatever it may be, I would not let anyone spoil that moment for me). Yeah my work, my own work was being presented.
and who all were there to see my tiny thing, Ron grant (COO, AOL), Jeff bewkes (CEO,president, times warner), Ann moore ( CEO& president, Times Inc) and a couple of other hot shots from HBO, Turner, n all that(yeah, you get the idea).
Although it wasnt me who was presenting ( yeah I was just thebackground) but still it wsa my work and those guys DID talk to me and thought its a good idea ( yeah yeah I know they were being couteous but still) the feeling that you get from that moment, my 15 minutes of fame, my glory, oh man it wsa such a high, I just cant describe.
And the most noticeable thing about those guys is that the humility they have.
All of them were so warn and humble. No airs of superiority, no prejudices ( they were coming here after laying off some 2000 employees in US), nothing.
Just simple calm and humble look on their face. And they might have just appreciated the idea for the sake of it ( as one of my colleague said) but still it was one of the best appreciation that I have got . This was one of the most important day of my life (yeah it comes straight after the day I got my choclate after telling the name of one mammal in my first standard (kidding!!))

The Best "Out-Of-Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies:


1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.


2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management

5: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.'

8: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

9: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

10: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.

11: I've run away to join a different circus.

12: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons.When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'

The ATM story

Am back!!
And this time with my usual ranting which were missing for wuite some time.
As the title suggests this time the crib is about the good and not so old ATM machine and the treatment.
This weekend I after lazying around the whole day I went out to buy some stuff (By stuff I means maggie ).
Anyways since the total cash in my wallet totalled to Rs3.50 ( yeah thats the total I carry these days), so I headed towards the ATM machine where a long basilisk (reffer harry potter) looking snake welcomed me.
Well with heavy feet and frustrated head I went towards the ATM. In bangalore, ATM on weekends are like hanuman mandir on tuesdays.
This post was left incomplete due to certain circumstances ( Its was 8:11 and my cab leaves at 8:15, so u get the picture).
Well I havent even finished my post and already I have got a commnet. my popularity must be increasing. Oh god no one can get away from my fame. Its just too much to handle . Thats a diffrent issue that the comment is given by ahem! ahem! my x-roomie.
well so wat charity starts at home and so does popularity:D. So right now am popular at my home,well almost, I mean 1 out of 3 roomie is not a bad score. At all.
anyways moving on, I was talking bout my ATM story, its a heart tugging story so people who cry during the saas bahu serial may wanna stop here. For the brave hearts ( yeah baby!!) her goes.
So As I reached the serpetine fo a queue near the SBI (i.e. slowest ATM bank of India, Am not saying that but some dude wrote it on the ATM, who by the way thought he is going to be married to the CEO of SBI, so thinking its his property, nicely wrote on the ATM machine).
stood there waiting for my turn, right in front of me were some 6-7 people and at that time I did not realise that they represent every possible category of ATM money withdrawer.
Following are the categories each of them belonged to

Category 1 "the stickers" people- This category thinks that they are the only people who have the power and the luxury of withdrawing money from the ATM. So they really don't care who or how many are in the queue.
All they know about is that its their time now and there is no tommorrowand i would stick to it.

Category 2 "The chatters" category - this category is the chirpy chitty chatty kinda category, who are loads of fun to stand with in the queue provided they are standing behind you. 'Coz generally this category proceed in groups and follows the group ettiquetes "no member left behind" policy, so when one friend goes in, all will get in, all will withdraw money and all with have fun while withdrawing money, while the people in the queue feel like killing each of the group memebr ( I have actually seen that in the eyes of the queue)

Category 3 "The OCD's"- This category is generally more of a an OCD category.How? lemme throw some light ( yeah!! I carry my torch of wisdome with me everytime). These guys once enter the ATM will get out only once they have touched every bloody button on the ATM ( which by the way is the typical characterstics of a OCD patient). So these guys would be checking their ATM skills right in the middle of that queue of those money hungry people whose blood boils everytime the category 3 people press a button on the ATM.

Category 4 "the account checkers"- Now this category of a people can be know as a little too much of fussy about their account. not that I disrespect this but doing this with 4564534 standing behind you is a little too much.
Imagine this the person is there to withdraw money. He checks his account before withdrawing money, he withdraws money, then again he checks his balace ( he won't take the trouble for taking a balance slip). Then they will check some 6 more things and after that they will get out of the ATM. And what is the maount that he withdraws 100 bucks( since 50 is not allowed)

Category 5 "The socialites"- This is the social ATM wanderer category. This category generally invites their friends, uncle, aunty, cousin, aunty of cousin, cousin's friend,friend's cousin and her uncle , aunt and all their close and distant relatives. And avery bloody sould when their turn comes. this becomes really irritating for the ret of the "QUEUE PEOPLE".

Category 6"The ATM animals"- This category is the category who is more of a passive category. They generally are just the audience to all the above category till the time they are outside the ATM box, once they get into the box, the ATM animal within then rises and they turn into one of the 5 above category.

Anyways after all these category of people I finally did manage to withdraw money but not before shouting and cribbing for 2-3 times. So now you can decide which category I belong to :D

Suggestion to webster's

Came across these absolutely hilarious definition posted by someone on net.
Check them out, really funny

ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid)adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus)adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib' re um)n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from(a) having to suck the nozzle, or(b) squirting himself in the eye.

BURGACIDE (burg' uh side)n.. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.

BUZZACKS (buz' aks)n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are not connected.

CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun)n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

DIMP (dimp)N. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?" DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt')v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will `remove' all the germs.

ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma)n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rearview mirror. EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz)n.. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit.

ELBONICS (el bon' iks)n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun)n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.

FRUST (frust)n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun)n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the `illegal' side.

NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see)n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life.

PEPPIER (pehp ee ay')n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

PETONIC (peh ton' ik)adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.

PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh)n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

PUPKUS (pup' kus)n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun)n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

Arbit thoughts

Mez back.
you after a long long time back here.
Its been a long long time when I wrote naything about well anything.
And right now some 4767869867457 thoughts are crossing my mind about which i wanna write but i guess I will stick to my favourite thing, cribbing.
Yeah yeah, I know I know 90% of the time am ranting and raving about some or the other thing which is wrong with me or with things around me or something like that.
so why differ this time. Well this post is dedicated to all the people who, ummmm......., well you will get the picture a little later.
Well have you ever been told by a person in your your office to keep it down or your home to keep it down or even in the cafeteria to keep it down.
Well with me, its almost a daily affair.
Just now a jerk(in my office) asked me to "keep it down" (when so many other people are actually shouting at the same decibels or more. Well these are the time I really feel that the whole world is conpiring against me). Any ways so this dude in his "oh so charming" ( well that what he thinks) way told me that we have calls and its disturbing and yada yada yada.......
And its not just today that its like this I am told to keep it down at home, at cafetaria even in the bathroom.
Cummon man gimme a break. Is this some kind of "morcha" people are taking out against me.
I mean there are other people go on talk to them tell them to shut up.
Why can't people stand a girl in a good mood,rather anyone in a good moood.
Why are people so hell bent on making everyone irritated like them.
Well I think it with the fact that everyone has likes to get into majority so the good mood guys try to spread by being hilarious and loud whereas the bad mood guys try and get majority by spreading their.
Thats it!!! that's the whole idea.
So the way to beat it isnot to let the opposition get into majority ( Man!! I can solve nay bloody problem).
So from now on people might ask me to keep it down but... welll they'll see :)

A letter from Bhagat singh

When everyone in this country is thinking about their own selfish motive and propogating them shamelessly in front of the whole of 1 Billion+ population here is a letter from a great leader who not only had the guts to dream but also the determination of making those dreams a reality, not for himself but the genration to come.
The future generation of his own motherland.
This should be read to alll the CPM leaders and so called cuurent "leaders" of the country when they are making all sorts of ruckus in the parliament and not letting the country head decide in the favor of the country's welfare.


To:The Punjab Governor
Sir,
With due respect we beg to bring to your kind notice the following:
That we were sentenced to death on 7th October 1930 by a British Court, L.C.C Tribunal, constituted under the Sp. Lahore Conspiracy Case Ordinance, promulgated by the H.E. The Viceroy, the Head of the British Government of India, and that the main charge against us was that of having waged war against H.M. King George, the King of England.
The above-mentioned finding of the Court pre-supposed two things:

Firstly, that there exists a state of war between the British Nation and the Indian Nation and, secondly, that we had actually participated in that war and were therefore war prisoners.
The second pre-supposition seems to be a little bit flattering, but nevertheless it is too tempting to resist the desire of acquiescing in it.
As regards the first, we are constrained to go into some detail. Apparently there seems to be no such war as the phrase indicates. Nevertheless, please allow us to accept the validity of the pre-supposition taking it at its face value. But in order to be correctly understood we must explain it further. Let us declare that the state of war does exist and shall exist so long as the Indian toiling masses and the natural resources are being exploited by a handful of parasites. They may be purely British Capitalist or mixed British and Indian or even purely Indian.
They may be carrying on their insidious exploitation through mixed or even on purely Indian bureaucratic apparatus. All these things make no difference. No matter, if your Government tries and succeeds in winning over the leaders of the upper strata of the Indian Society through petty concessions and compromises and thereby cause a temporary demoralization in the main body of the forces. No matter, if once again the vanguard of the Indian movement, the Revolutionary Party, finds itself deserted in the thick of the war.
No matter if the leaders to whom personally we are much indebted for the sympathy and feelings they expressed for us, but nevertheless we cannot overlook the fact that they did become so callous as to ignore and not to make a mention in the peace negotiation of even the homeless, friendless and penniless of female workers who are alleged to be belonging to the vanguard and whom the leaders consider to be enemies of their utopian non-violent cult which has already become a thing of the past; the heroines who had ungrudgingly sacrificed or offered for sacrifice their husbands, brothers, and all that were nearest and dearest to them, including themselves, whom your government has declared to be outlaws. No matter, it your agents stoop so low as to fabricate baseless calumnies against their spotless characters to damage their and their party's reputation. The war shall continue.
It may assume different shapes at different times.
It may become now open, now hidden, now purely agitational, now fierce life and death struggle. The choice of the course, whether bloody or comparatively peaceful, which it should adopt rests with you. Choose whichever you like.
But that war shall be incessantly waged without taking into consideration the petty (illegible) and the meaningless ethical ideologies. It shall be waged ever with new vigour, greater audacity and unflinching determination till the Socialist Republic is established and the present social order is completely replaced by a new social order, based on social prosperity and thus every sort of exploitation is put an end to and the humanity is ushered into the era of genuine and permanent peace. In the very near future the final battle shall be fought and final settlement arrived at.
The days of capitalist and imperialist exploitation are numbered. The war neither began with us nor is it going to end with our lives. It is the inevitable consequence of the historic events and the existing environments. Our humble sacrifices shall be only a link in the chain that has very accurately been beautified by the unparalleled sacrifice of Mr. Das and most tragic but noblest sacrifice of Comrade Bhagawati Charan and the glorious death of our dear warrior Azad.

As to the question of our fates, please allow us to say that when you have decided to put us to death, you will certainly do it. You have got the power in your hands and the power is the greatest justification in this world. We know that the maxim "Might is right" serves as your guiding motto. The whole of our trial was just a proof of that. We wanted to point out that according to the verdict of your court we had waged war and were therefore war prisoners. And we claim to be treated as such, i.e., we claim to be shot dead instead of to be hanged. It rests with you to prove that you really meant what your court has said.

We request and hope that you will very kindly order the military department to send its detachment to perform our execution.

Yours,
BHAGAT SINGH


The letter si picked up from my friend but nevertheless it captures the emotions of a person who thought nothing is above ur nation. Nothing at alll

Some arbit junk

Well its been a crazy month.
Ever since I returned from US the work has been justa bsolute crazy. working from 11 to 11 and then going back and working till 7 in the morning ( Fine it was just one day but still i worked from 11 to 11 reguarly) but I finally took out some time and bought a novel on15th august.
And that was not just any novel its was the novel by Shoba de rather "The shobha de".
The much coveted writer, The total authority on high society and page 3 fudas with a masters rather Phd on celebritieism (people who are shobha de's fan kindly stop here the next few paragraphs are no sugar for you, other can also stop here 'coz hereon are just my rantings agaisnt something. All those who wanna hear the rantings may proceed)
Anyways I bought the novel just to get a flavour of her writing and trust i8t left a reall bad taste in my mouth.
The story basically revolves around some 5 friends. one of them, who by the way is hell rich and is a great celebrity (and here we go with the whole celebrity thingy), want to meet the rest. The rest, not being in any way fond of her, still go and meet her and there starts all the drama of recollections, memories and reminiscences which none of them cherishes or relishes but yet all of them just coax each other for more.
Thats it, Yeah that the story, but the worst is not over yet. The main point is that whatever she was trying to spin there I don't no why everybody ended up in bed why each of the experience got to the same ending of bedding people, sleeping around and all that.
I mean either the "high society" has nothing else on mind or the writer herself doesnt have anything remotely to do with mind .
Cummon how predicable can she be.
Anyways after reading that novel I have sweared on aaal the bhavani maa and santoshi maa et al. that I would never ever go by the glossy page.
Some writers are good writing about celebrities' boob jobs and broken relationships on page 15 of times of India. This novel thingy, nope not for them.
Would read my good 'ol harry potter to get rid of these depression that i got after reading that novel.