Selfish

Was just wondering what is limit to which one can think of his benefit without being selfish.
Or if there is anything known has thinking of yourself without being selfish.
These days am just skeptical about anyoen and anyone being nice to me 'coz from past 5 months I have seen only one thing that if someone is being nice to you there has to be hidden agenda behind it.
and kills you to just think that its not you for which people approach you but what can they get from you for which do that.
Anyways lousy thoughts,guess will do some cheering up exercise to come out of this kinda mode or thought process

Fondest memories

Well this post is not about my fondest memories but the fondest memory of the person with whome most of my fondest memories are associated.
Yash, Yeah thats the guy.
Yesterday while taking to him he asked "Can you guess what is the fondest memory that I have got of our college day"?
There were so many of them, It was almost impossible to point one.
So I gave up on it or maybe I pointed to one.
And then he started off, "My fondest memory about this guy who is drunk and out on the 3rd night of ENGIFEST (that was our engineering cultural fest, there are so many stories associated with it, but lets focus on this one first) and asks them that he wants to perform on his world famous in DCE dance number, that he had performed some umpteenth number of times but still wants to perform again".
So the organisers knowing that dance is oen the things he is actually good at say"Ok sir let this thing (a fashion Parade thingy) finish next would be your ITEM".
He also asked the organisers to call some girl from the audience who was suppose to be his dance partner in the item.
The girl's name was anounced.
She was sitting in the audience without realising it was her name being announced on stage, then one of her "friends" shouted "oh!! she is sitting over here". The comparer looked my way and says ma'm can you plz come back stage".
Haveing no choice and thanking her"Friend" she goes stomping towards the stage.
There is that boy standing drunk like hell, the girl just luks at her and ask"kitni pi hai (how drunk are u)" and he goes like"No matter how much drunk I am I can still dance.
She goes "You will fall" and he says adamantly"If I fall today I will never step on stage,again".
They start of with K3G song you are my sonia.
Miracualously the boy does'nt fall and after the intial hooting and howling, everyone enjoys the song (a profs. timy daughter also came on stage to accompany up :D).
With this yash completed his fondest memory.
The boy in this memory was ofcourse yash and girl was me :)
If ever there was a way by which we can store our memory (something like dumbledore in harry potter) I would have doen that.
But I know no matter what happens these mmemories will always be there and would always bring a smile on my face during the tough times.

Trust

Read a reall good line bout trust that a friend sent.
It goes like:
Trust should be like the feeling of a one year old baby when you throw him in the air, he laughs.....because he knows you will catch him........ that's Trust............

Yeah, generaly kids trust the more and when u go out with the brain of a kid and try dealing with the world you will have the time of your life when everyone try to make most out of the oppurtunity.

May be I have turned bitter owing to my experiences and experiments but I guess this too shall pass.
Will take some time to shake it off but this bitterness would go, I know that :)

Life

Well this is not the right time to write this blog but I guess to let the emotions flow this is actually the right time to pour in my thoughts and complete this blog.

I actually dont feel writing anything owing to this disgusting feeling I am having right now.
The feeling of losing all your friends.
The friends who meant so much for you, with whome you have spend and shared so much.
Today how they have turned away.
How they are acting so much against me,
How they loath talking to me.
The ones whome I never thought would ever will be able to separate and whome I trusted so much, they are the ones who wants me to be chucked out of their celebrated group.
And these are the people I have trusted with all heart and soul and then they turn back and rub on my face.
Its like falling flat on my face with nothing at all coming to my mind but just numbness.
Well, thats life I guessss, but I guess will always miss them.

Missing mom:(

Today while coming home I realy started missing mom.
its not like I decided to miss her today but just that somehow I missed her being around and her pampering.
There are so many things people living alone might miss about there mom and its not just good food that I am talking about here.
Having mom around is like having a shded tree around you. Though there is so much nagging and bickering also but still when you come home thinkng the world has come to an end or rather your world has come to an end that is the time your mom comes up with these tiny bits that makes you think, no there is still some life left.
She is there to tell you how special you are, how you are the best thing that the world can have and how the world wont be able to move, if you lose hope.
There were so many times when I thought mom doesnt know anything (specially when you ask her to pick some clothes for your to wear while going out and she would pick the least desirable dress :)), but with time you realise that MOM KNOWS THE BEST.

I miss how much she would supports you and she would know the exact moment when you need her the most, even when some 3000 odd kilometers would be separating you.

My mom can know my mood just by my hello.
she would whether am sick or had a bad day or anything bothering me.
I try a lot not to give it out but all my effort go kabum by just one thing"beta bata to kya hua hai".
And when I tell her she worries like hell.
She know when to say what and how to say it.
There are so many time that I have been rude to her written her off and all that and on those ocassions all she used to say was "Keh lo aaj tum, aaj tumhari baari hai".

I miss the very presence of her's around me, how she used to take care of me when I wasn't well, how she would make things which I like and how she used to pamper me.

When I was coming to bangalore she had total faith in me that I am big enough to take care of myself. even though I wsant sure of that a bit.
I still remember how she cried when she came to see me off when I was leaving for Bangalore.
Though she knew her little girl is big enough to take care of herself she didnt want to seem me go :(

I don't think so that I have ever told her how much I love her and respect her but I do think she knows and if she doesnt then I will let her know and most fo all thank her for giving me all that she could.

Evolution????

Probably written by some American, but applicable to us as well, I think.

According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kidsin the 60's, 70's and early 80's probably shouldn't have survived, becauseour baby cots were covered with brightly colouredLead-based paint which was promptly chewed and licked.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, or latches on doors orcabinets and it was fine to play with pans. When we rode our bikes, we wore no helmets, just flip-flops and fluorescent 'spokey dokey's' on our wheels. As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or airbags and ridingin the passenger seat was a treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle and it tasted the same.We ate chips, bread and butter pudding and drank fizzy juice with sugar init, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing.
Weshared one drink with four friends, from one bottleor can and no-one actually died from this.We would spend hours building go-carts out of scraps and then went top speeddown the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running intostinging nettles a few times, we learned to solve theproblem.
We would leave home in the morning and could play all day, as long as wewere back before it got dark.
No one was able to reach us and no one minded.We did not have Play stations or X-Boxes, no video games at all.
No 99 channels on TV, no videotape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, nopersonal computers, no DVDs, no Internet chatrooms.
We had friends - we went outside and found them.
We played elastics androunders, and sometimes that ball really hurt! We fell out of trees, gotcut, and broke bones but there were no law suits.We played knock-the-door-run-away and were actually afraid of the ownerscatching us.
We walked to friends' homes. We also, believe it or not, WALKED to school; we didn't rely on mummy or daddy to drive us to school, which was just round the corner.

My ex-roomies

I just overcame the big turmoil caused by the long power cut (almost 8 hours).
Its 3:15 in the morning or night or whatever it’s known as and I am not sleepy as am still recovering from the shock all that darkness has left me with.
With the power cuts all my hidden fears come up (as mentioned in the last to last blog).
Anyways just to overcome that shock I wrote a real long post about my Ex- roomies but then as they say (by they I refer the voices in my head) some days are not meant for you to write blogs ( yeah they say some real funny stuff) so the whole post got deleted (of course by my smartness).
But I decided that today was the day I was missing my roomies, or so to say my ex- roomies, so today should be the day I should write a post bout them, no matter how many times I have to rewrite(I hope this is the last one :().

So, I had two roomies, both absolute delight, and this coming from me is no normal stuff as I seriously have this strong dislike for girls (well not all but most of them, Ok some of them, very few actually).
So the first one was jeena AKA jeans.
She is one of the sweetest rolly polly that I have ever met. I little reserved in nature but once she gets handy (yeah handy is the word use for her) she will never let you down in any department.
Not a very fabulous cook but she never gave up on that. Her motto was “try and try till some dies".
So as we waited for our death she kept her experiments on, with breakfasts, lunches and dinners.
Not all her cooking used to be bad.
I remember once when she made chicken curry it was fabulous, except for the chicken dissolved in the curry, but the curry was damn good (seriously!!).
She is one of the most caring people that I have met and the best part is that she won’t be all show kinda caring.
She would care n her own subtle manner. She used to cook so many times for me when I used to come home starving n all that and even during the weekends when I would be saying no I am not hungry n all that.
She had her own set of principles to which she stuck with all her might but with us spoilt creatures she would let them go for once or twice in day :)
All in all a sweetheart.
Also she was this chubby thing who was on a little higher side of the weighing scale.
We used to pester her so much about going to gym n all (specially after her marriage was fixed)but she was reall happy with herself (A big achievemnet for a girl as no girl is happy with her looks these days).
The second that I had in my room was Rashmi AKA rash' (I till this date have not understood the significance or meaning of this ' in her alias but nevermind)
She was one of the most sensible jokers that I have ever met in my life.
Had a caustic sense of humor, with impeccable timing (she will kill you with just her "Whatever", just when you thing you have finally given your best comment and there is no comeback for her)
She had her typical jokes like "Are you a blond with hair dyed as brown or black or whatever".
She gave full competition to jeena in cooking ( I remember once she made Ladyfinger for her fiancé' and asked my views, I very earnestly told her "don’t make him eat it". He will not marry you if he survives after eating this.)
She was the mother of the house not in the caring sharing sense but somehow in times of crisis the first that used to occur to us was"rasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssshmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii" more on the tone of "mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"
So that’s why I call her the mother of the house.
Damn responsible dame, I mean from the house's calculation to contacting the house owner, to electricity bill. to gas agency, everything somehow used to be her responsibility ( I miss her more as all this has fallen onto the most irresponsible creature possible, yeah yeah that me).
Watching Tv was so much fun with these two, specially rashmi.
She had these killer comments about everything on TV (especially with the juicy e-news on Zee cafe and VH1). Even the sad(I would call them sadistic) Saas-Bahu traumatic serials used to be fun with her special backend commentary in full blow.
I was always in her awe for her vast knowledge about English songs, specially rock.
If ever there is an English song antakshari she would surely be the winner or something close to it. She was some dame and despite of being extensively bold she was never reckless about anything.
There are a lot of things that both these dames taught me.
How to handle various people right from your boss to your colleague to your husband (Rashmi had more "pearls of wisdom" to give to both of us then anybody else).
So many troubled times when I was totally clueless about what to do next these two girls came forward and not just supported me but advised me with the best solution.
I really miss all the tiny "In-house parties" that we used to have and how sharing with them used take all the load of my shoulders.
I remember once when I had a huge problem in office these too girls just gave me the instruction of how to brave out the battle filed.
And it worked like a charm.
But like everyone lese these two too got married and left with their husbands :(
I really miss all the times spent with them and cherish all the moments that we had together.
May they get the best in life and stay the same forever :)

Chetan bhagat-Engineers :D

Another one copied but it actually is awesome :D


I remember the incident - I was in a restaurant, and one girl in our group was especially charming. So I, like any other male, tried to put on a wooing act. You know the routine, a nanosecond extra eye contact, a few more nods to whatever she says, and attempts to throw in those one-liners which you know you wouldn't if she weren't there.
And it seemed to be working. She leaned forward when she spoke to me, and every now and again, we'd have a small conversation of our own, separate from our group. She laughed at my approach with the fork and knife, and I teased her about her hair band, which had little teddy bears. Yes, we were flirting. A while later, she asked me the question - what did I study? I said engineering, without any particular meaning attached to it. And then like a cold metal rail, she went stiff. My jokes weren't funny any more. Her eyes wandered to everyone else. What was it?Why? Why? Why?
Two days later, I still couldn't get over my great start that had dissipated listlessly upon mentioning my education. Engineer? What was wrong with that? My mom had wanted me to become one since I was five! I had to call her. 'So what happened to you that day, hot and cold, missie?' And then she said, trying to be nice, 'Well, it's just that I am skeptical about engineers as friends. I don't know, they can be, you know, very logical and everything... not very touchy feely'.
Not touchy-feely. Now what the heck did that mean? Well, she obviously did not mean it literally, since girls don't really suggest that sort of stuff, certainly not in the first meeting across the table. I guessed it was something to do with feelings, sort of having an emotional side. The stereotype being, the nerdy guy who sees relationships like laws of physics, to whom love is just a bunch of chemicals going crazy in your brain, and getting to know a person means obtaining their bio-data.
It's time to set the record straight.
It's true that a lot of what engineers study (and they end up studying quite a lot), has to do with formulaes, laws and numbers. No matter how hard we try, some of the vocabulary we read all day gets into our language. So when my mother said, 'Are you getting married next year or not?' I was liable to say, 'Well, at this moment in time, the probability is relatively low,' and felt it was completely normal to say it. And when my sister went sari shopping and couldn't explain the shade she wanted, I told the shopkeeper the percentages of pink, orange and red in the sari.
Yet, ladies, I don't think we're bad at relationships, love and getting to know people. We too, can be touchy-feely, as that is part of our education as well. The reason for this is that most engineering students live in the ultimate educator - boy's hostels. Now, let me explain how this plays into this 'touchy-feely' thing. Relationships. Imagine eating, sleeping, brushing your teeth, bathing (ok rarely this one) and partying with the same people all the time. So, when you are kicking that bathroom door down for the tenth time, or when you stand in line for 'gulab-jamuns' in the mess, and when you are done with the vodka bottle and sharing all your secrets, you know it is good practice. Yes, hostels maketh the man.
So, next time you are in a flirtatious situation with the techno types, go on, flirt a bit more. Of course, I am biased towards my kind, but if you find the conversation turning too geeky, just ask them, 'So, what were your hostel days like?' and chances are, you'll see a heart behind the calculator. Coming back to my missie, I thought of what would make me win her over. Flowers... too cheesy. Music... don't know her taste (nor trust mine). Teddy bears... don't even go there. Desperate for some good lines, I just turned it right back at her. 'Yes, I know what you are saying about engineers. The thing is, unless people with depth like you start hanging out with us, we won't get any better. Can you meet me some time for some touchy/feely... oops, I mean coffee/tea?' She giggled. When they giggle, you have won. Hence proved.
:)

The good 'ol days

When gulli-danda and kanche (marbles) were more popular than
cricket ...
When we always had friends to play aais-paais (I Spy),
chhepan-chhepai and pitthoo anytime ...
When we desperately waited for 'yeh jo hai jindagi'

When Chitrahaar, Vikram-Baitaal, Dada Daadi ki kahaniyaan were so fulfilling ...

When there was just one TV in every five houses and

When Bisleris were not sold in the trains and we were worrying if Papas will get back into the train in time or not

when they were getting down at stations to fillup the water bottle ...

When we were going to bed by 9.00pm sharp except forthe 'yeh jo hai jindagi' day ...

When Holis & Diwalis meant mostly hand-made pakwaans andsweets and moms seeking our help while preparing them

When Maths teachers were not worried of our Mummys and Papas while slapping/beating us ...

When we were exchanging comics and stamps andchacha-chaudaris and billus were our heroes ...

When we were in nanihaals every summer and lovedflying kites and plucking and eating unripe mangoesand leechis ...

When one movie every Sunday evening on television was more than asked for and 'ek do teen chaar' and'Rajni' inspired us ...

When 50 paisa meant at least 10 toffees ...

When left over pages of the last years notebooks were used for rough work or even fair work ...

When 'Chelpark' and 'Natraaj' were encouraged against'Reynolds and family' ...

When the first rain meant getting drenched and playing in water and mud and making 'kaagaj ki kishtis' ...

When there were no phones to tell friends that we will be at their homes at six in the evening ...

When our parents always had 15 paise blue colored 'antardesis' and 5 paise machli wale stamps at home

When we remembered tens of jokes and were not finding'ice-cream and papa' type jokes foolish enough to stop us from laughing ...

When we were not seeing patakhes on Diwalis andgulaals on Holis as air and noise polluting orallergic agents ...the list can be endless ...
On a serious note I would like to summarise with ...

When we were using our hearts more than our brains,even for scientifically brainy activities like'thinking' and 'deciding' ...

When we were crying and laughing more often, moreopenly and more sincerily ...

When we were enjoying our present more than worryingabout our future ...

When being emotional was not synonymous to being weak

When sharing worries and happinesses didnt meangetting vulnerable to the listener ...

When blacks and whites were the favourite colors instead of greys ...

When journeys also were important and not just thedestinations ...

When life was a passenger's sleeper giving enough time and opportunity to enjoy the sceneries from its open and transparent glass windows instead of somesuperfast's second A/C with its curtained, closed and dark windows ...

This is for all the times when i forgot to say thank you to my mom and argued about everything that she adviced me for.