This is about me and my life and my thoughts and my whims and well u'll see :D

Tadaaaaaaaaaa............................

For the people looking for some useful piece of information or anything remotely related to the word useful, should leave immediately, as this blog comprises of useless and arbit pieces of things which merge together and make my life :D

Friday, October 12, 2007

The Best "Out-Of-Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies:


1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.


2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management

5: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.'

8: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

9: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

10: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.

11: I've run away to join a different circus.

12: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons.When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'

Thursday, October 4, 2007

The ATM story

Am back!!
And this time with my usual ranting which were missing for wuite some time.
As the title suggests this time the crib is about the good and not so old ATM machine and the treatment.
This weekend I after lazying around the whole day I went out to buy some stuff (By stuff I means maggie ).
Anyways since the total cash in my wallet totalled to Rs3.50 ( yeah thats the total I carry these days), so I headed towards the ATM machine where a long basilisk (reffer harry potter) looking snake welcomed me.
Well with heavy feet and frustrated head I went towards the ATM. In bangalore, ATM on weekends are like hanuman mandir on tuesdays.
This post was left incomplete due to certain circumstances ( Its was 8:11 and my cab leaves at 8:15, so u get the picture).
Well I havent even finished my post and already I have got a commnet. my popularity must be increasing. Oh god no one can get away from my fame. Its just too much to handle . Thats a diffrent issue that the comment is given by ahem! ahem! my x-roomie.
well so wat charity starts at home and so does popularity:D. So right now am popular at my home,well almost, I mean 1 out of 3 roomie is not a bad score. At all.
anyways moving on, I was talking bout my ATM story, its a heart tugging story so people who cry during the saas bahu serial may wanna stop here. For the brave hearts ( yeah baby!!) her goes.
So As I reached the serpetine fo a queue near the SBI (i.e. slowest ATM bank of India, Am not saying that but some dude wrote it on the ATM, who by the way thought he is going to be married to the CEO of SBI, so thinking its his property, nicely wrote on the ATM machine).
stood there waiting for my turn, right in front of me were some 6-7 people and at that time I did not realise that they represent every possible category of ATM money withdrawer.
Following are the categories each of them belonged to

Category 1 "the stickers" people- This category thinks that they are the only people who have the power and the luxury of withdrawing money from the ATM. So they really don't care who or how many are in the queue.
All they know about is that its their time now and there is no tommorrowand i would stick to it.

Category 2 "The chatters" category - this category is the chirpy chitty chatty kinda category, who are loads of fun to stand with in the queue provided they are standing behind you. 'Coz generally this category proceed in groups and follows the group ettiquetes "no member left behind" policy, so when one friend goes in, all will get in, all will withdraw money and all with have fun while withdrawing money, while the people in the queue feel like killing each of the group memebr ( I have actually seen that in the eyes of the queue)

Category 3 "The OCD's"- This category is generally more of a an OCD category.How? lemme throw some light ( yeah!! I carry my torch of wisdome with me everytime). These guys once enter the ATM will get out only once they have touched every bloody button on the ATM ( which by the way is the typical characterstics of a OCD patient). So these guys would be checking their ATM skills right in the middle of that queue of those money hungry people whose blood boils everytime the category 3 people press a button on the ATM.

Category 4 "the account checkers"- Now this category of a people can be know as a little too much of fussy about their account. not that I disrespect this but doing this with 4564534 standing behind you is a little too much.
Imagine this the person is there to withdraw money. He checks his account before withdrawing money, he withdraws money, then again he checks his balace ( he won't take the trouble for taking a balance slip). Then they will check some 6 more things and after that they will get out of the ATM. And what is the maount that he withdraws 100 bucks( since 50 is not allowed)

Category 5 "The socialites"- This is the social ATM wanderer category. This category generally invites their friends, uncle, aunty, cousin, aunty of cousin, cousin's friend,friend's cousin and her uncle , aunt and all their close and distant relatives. And avery bloody sould when their turn comes. this becomes really irritating for the ret of the "QUEUE PEOPLE".

Category 6"The ATM animals"- This category is the category who is more of a passive category. They generally are just the audience to all the above category till the time they are outside the ATM box, once they get into the box, the ATM animal within then rises and they turn into one of the 5 above category.

Anyways after all these category of people I finally did manage to withdraw money but not before shouting and cribbing for 2-3 times. So now you can decide which category I belong to :D